Friday, April 27, 2012

one step closer to kindergarten

Somehow the day has come to register my baby girl for kindergarten.  Now that it is over, I plan to live the next 3 months in denial that she will actually start kindergarten so soon.  I tried to explain to someone the other day why this is so hard for me.  Honestly, it really isn't just the fact that she is growing up.  Isabel has always acted older than her age anyway and I do love watching her become such a precious little lady.  No, the problem for me is that starting kindergarten seems to be the beginning of the end.  Yes, I know I'm being dramatic but it is true.  This step is the end of the time when she spent the majority of her day, every day, with me.  Now she will spend 7 hours a day, 5 days a week away from me..... for the next 13 years.  And then she goes to college.  See what I mean?  I know that Isabel will love school.  I know that she will love learning and making new friends.  I know that she will become more confident and independent.  All of this is good, but it doesn't stop the tears that continuously fill my eyes when I think about my soon-to-be-kindergartener!

I have been praying for a while now for Isabel as she gets closer to starting school.  She cannot wait to go but is so anxious at the same time. My sweet little girl can be extremely shy until she feels comfortable with someone or a new situation (then she becomes extremely outgoing).  She loves routine and takes a while to adjust to changes.  These qualities make something like starting a brand new school with a new teacher she doesn't know and new friends that she doesn't know pretty terrifying. 

She was pretty reserved at registration today.  She answered questions from the teachers with the shortest answers possible.  She spelled her first and last name for them but said it so quietly that they could barely hear her.  She clung to my hand as we looked at the cafeteria and the kindergarten classrooms.  On the way home Josh and I kept trying to talk to her about it and she kept changing the subject.  I know this will be an adjustment for us all.  I will just keep praying for her and reminding myself that God loves her even more than I do and He will be with her every second that she is away from me.  Seriously, how do people do anything without the peace that comes only from God?

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